Thursday, January 26, 2006

the dulcet tones of the dishwasher

I've got a pannini in my belly, my kid's put to bed, the dishwasher is started and there's only one dirty pan on the stove. Life is good. It also looks like the second half of Must See TV could be pretty good finally. I like The Office and I'll watch My Name is Earl, although I don't love it. Will and Grace is cloying and I wish someone would call time of death on ER. They'll cancel Arrested Development but ER is allowed to go unchecked for centuries. More disasters have hit that hospital than Pakistan, Indonesia and New Orleans combined.

The bathroom is done, but we used the bathtub last nite and when Eric went downstairs, there was water coming from the kitchen light fixture and puddling on the floor. And guess what? I totally forgot about it until this afternoon when I remembered to call Norman, our contractor. I'm totally numb to this whole situation. I simply do not give a crap anymore. It has moved from maddening to kind of funny.

On the bright side, Lupe, the lady that cleans for us pronounced our new bathroom "Absolutely beautiful". Awww, she's so sweet.

Monday, January 23, 2006

It's one of those days where most people are dumber than me. It is so frustrating. I'm only taking one class this semester and I submitted my drop/add form to my advisor so she could look at it for two seconds and then sign it. She called me and said she was forwarding it to the registrar's office. Yahoo, I thought everything was set. Then I got a voicemail on my cell from some unidentified woman from school who said I had a "hold" on my registration because I hadn't paid my tuition. Well, I'm on financial aid (who isn't? I don't understand these alien-freaks that can afford $2500 per class!) so yes, I damn well haven't paid tuition. The gov't takes care of that. But little what's-her-name doesn't leave her name or her number, so I'm left feeling like HUH? My advisor has no clue, but gives me two numbers to call, the second one picks up and says "Hmm, you're fine I've released the hold". I'm like, what? why was that so easy? and so hard? why was there a hold? why do I bother panicking over you people? So I said, "So do I have to re-submit my paperwork?" and she was like "oh, I don't know". Well, who does? "Oh, call the registrar's office, Okay. So I call and guess who answers? The actual what's her name and it's Bianca and she says "yes I called you" and I burst out into maniacal laughter and said "Why didn't you leave your name or phone number?!" She said, we just leave messages that say "registrar". I'm like, "do you realize that makes people like me turn psycho?"

She didn't really feel like chatting much after that.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

DIY time

Kaj's hair was so long he was truly in shaggy dog territory. We could barely see his eyes and the poor boy kept blinking because his bangs were poking his eyeballs. Something Had to Be Done. So I bribed him with Frango mints and told him to keep still for five minutes. In that time, with quite minimal squirming, I was able to lop off an 1 1/2" of hair and do some layering on top. The back isn't quite what we'd like, since it looks a bit girly bob-like, but at least he looks a little more groomed.

As I write this, Eric is installing our bathroom faucets since Dingleberry the Plumber decided to show up unannounced while we were out yesterday. The man doesn't own a cell phone and apparently doesn't bother to use his home phone to call and let us know when he's coming. Let's call a spade a spade: He's screwed everything up and he's past the point of caring about this job. That and he's probably not been paid for a month.

My mom's in town and we went to breakfast at the Ritz and then she took me shopping for my birthday. It was fun. I like to go to the Ritz and pretend I have more money than Croesus, but yet I'm a totally down-to-earth and unpretentious. I enjoy the riches I have, but I don't try to flaunt it. More Melanie Gates than Paris Hilton.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Stress eating

Few things make me happier than Peapod grocery delivery. I logged in at 5pm last nite, bought 200 bucks worth of chow by 5:30 and it was delivered this morning at 7:30. Genius.

I was shut-in the house last nite because I was waiting for Bolivar the tile guy who was supposed to show up at 4:30 to finish the backsplash. He stood me up. This bathroom situation has gone past ridiculous. My contractor likes to talk about energy fields and new-agey ways to put your influence out into the world. He has also mentioned that he has gone to a few spiritual workshops about talking to aliens....and that's something I don't even want to know more about. Anyway, I think i need to have a chat about his energy and where he's directing it and hey, maybe he can shoot some my way? Since we are a month past our deadline now. The saving grace in all this is that we have 1 other full bath and a powder room, so in terms of bathing, it's not that inconvenient. I'm just sick of it.

At least I have plenty of food to comfort me. I'm making potage parmentier tonite.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

It's your birthday

I'm 35 today. I'm stuffed to the gills with carrot cake, and this sounds crazy, but i tasted the merest hint of what I think could be gorgonzola cheese in the frosting. Surprisingly it didn't hurt my enjoyment of my birthday cake. Now, could they have gotten their cheeses mixed? Or does that mean I'm going to wake up with food poisoning at 3 a.m.? Happy Barfday.

I had a lovely birthday. I got new clogs and the Julia Child french cookbook and I went to yoga. My husband painted our entire bedroom yesterday and my son sang me an abbreviated version of Happy Birthday, which included birthday wishes to himself. I watched Footloose on HBO. Kevin Bacon rules! Did you know that Sarah Jessica Parker is in that movie? She plays the main girl's best friend.

It was a relaxing, lazy fun day. Now, I just have to decide how I'm going to answer when impertinent people ask me my age.

Friday, January 13, 2006

untitled

Eric just conducted joint-compound surgery on the bedroom walls in preparation for painting tomorrow. YAHOO. Today I was charged with purchasing the paint supplies and "something a little more substantial than spackle or dry wall tape" to fix the fault-like crack that starts at our ceiling, and does a right turn four feet down the wall. Thank the previous owners who among other genius moves, decided that proper structural engineering wasn't their bag, baby, and didn't bother to have proper floor joists connected when they "remodeled the bathroom" (if you can call pink marble floors and plastic shower doors remodeling), which caused the bathroom floor to slope and the wall to crack.

While at the neighborhood hardware store, I was also supposed to pick up a drain trap. I still am not sure what that means but basically it's the pipes you see that come out of the bottom of the sink and connect to the wall. Eric was like, "tell them you need a piece that comes out of the sink pipe and curves..." and I turn the corner and there's like fifty things that meet the criteria hanging on the wall. Some are threaded, some are not. Some have little end caps, some don't. Eric begins using the tone with me. He starts getting frustrated, but he knows if he gets obviously irritated, I'll bolt and abort the mission. So I hand the phone to a couple of sales people. The first sales person is like "dude, I really don't know". Score one for me, don't you think? Guy #1 who works at the store can't figure out what parts to get, surely I get a pass, right? Luckily the second one discussed the possibilities at length with Eric and they settled on a solution. I bought them, took it home and when the plumber arrived, he had one too. I'm still amazed he even showed up so I don't even care about the drain pipe issue.

They stayed til 8pm tonite fixing the plumbing and replacing drywall. On a friday nite.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

He's an Eater not a Shopper

Most mornings, Kaj wakes up hungry. The trouble is, he can't focus on what he's hungry for. He will see all his favorite foods and scream them out. "Chocolate! Cookies! Fruit leather! Strawberries! Applesauce!" He whips himself into such a food tizzy that if you offer him something sensible, like a bagel, he will scream and cry and try to yank the strawberries out of the fridge, at which point the plastic lid will flip off, sending ten strawberries down the back of the crisper, never to be seen again. Did I mention that all this happens before I have a chance to make coffee? Now my method is to say no to everything he asks for and make him a bagel the way I know he likes it and WAIT for the madness to stop. It does, eventually, and the day has officially begun.

His adorable babysitter, Joana, came today. She goes to Carnegie Mellon and studies painting. She is very fun and talented and I think the two of them are sort of in love. As soon as she walks in they start chasing each other around the house. I feel like I'm this dorky old lady when I try to shout directions over the giggling (which she doesn't really need) like don't give him c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e or c-o-o-k-i-e-s until after lunch.

While she was there, I went to the mall to go to the West Elm store. This mall is in suburban Virginia, and it is huge! I do love a good mall, especially at first, because the possibilities are endless: "wow, a Janie and Jack store!" "MMMmmmm Cinnabon" . After a while of just browsing, I got tired. There's too much, you know? I did manage to get some nice chocolate brown linen sheers for our bedroom, and enjoy a strawberry smoothie. The West Elm store is really nice, and their prices are so cheap. My nice husband has offered to paint the bedroom for my birthday! I'm so excited, because we have been living with the same anemic pepto-bismol pink walls for about a year and a half. I like pink, but this pink is really bad.

While I was at the mall, I saw a million moms pushing strollers. I missed my kid! Of course, the moment you push Kaj through the door of Nordstrom he screams like someone is torturing him with a hot poker. He's not a shopper, my little sweetie. He's an eater.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Loo blues

Hi! This is a new and much easier home for me. Not like you care, all you know is that I've been wretched at keeping up with my posts, but I've vowed to make this a 2006 resolution. Even if I just log in and write My God I'm so Goddamn tired, I will log in and write that. I mean it!!! Thanks readers for asking about me, hearing that has been very encouraging!

Let's get down to bitching and complaining, shall we? Oh Goody.

First, on a positive note, I finally found a yoga class that meets at the same time Kaj is in preschool. I have been searching for MONTHS for a yoga studio that has a class that meets in the mid-morning. You'd think in a town lousy with rich politicians, lawyers and lobbyists, not to mention mommies and students of every stripe, there'd be quite a few people who DON'T work during the day and need a decent yoga class. One that doesn't start at dawn, thank you. Well, I looked and finally found it. It's in Georgetown of course. And this yoga studio is also a spa and also has classes in this gizmo called "gyrotronics". As far as I can tell its this machine with pulleys and handles and crap which you have to pull on and maneuver--its what pilates used to be when only dancers had the inclination to do it. Whatever, I'll probably never try it, but this place is amazing. It's totally gorgeous and there's lockers, showers, mats, slippers and robes--all free with the price of the class, that is. It's weird how special it made me feel. I'm buying a pass tomorrow after I get my massage.

We have been in the process of renovating the bathroom. My contractor, to whom I have given a lot of business, offered to do the job for labor and materials costs only. We couldn't pass it up, so we said okay. It was supposed to be done at the end of December, but you know, it wasn't. The big glitch was that the plumber installed the wall-mounted faucets BACKWARDS. It is really a long explanation and so totally boring, but basically the faucets are modern and different and if you are dumber than shit, you may have trouble installing them correctly. We figured out that the faucets were wrong after the backsplash and counter-top were already tiled. So they had to rip most of it out and do some re-plumbing. The plumber kept trying to tell me things, but a real big problem with our working relationship is he only speaks Spanish and the Spanish I speak mostly has to do with "how do you say that in spanish?" "I don't know" or "he is handsome". The man has a the cliche plumber's butt and smells like wet pennies, so the word "handsome" is not going come up in conversation.

We may get done with the bathroom by the end of January. I will be posting before and after photos.